NFW Champion: The Little Guy
Deathmatch Champion: The Little Guy
May 8, 2007: Long time no update. Cookies and Hate Crime is being finished. It's just the last few matches we filmed: NFW Humiliation: The Fast and the Bi-Curious, Theater of the Absurd Act II, Drunk Mexican Project 2, and our last match ever, BLT 2. What we're really jazzed about it another release. Our last release ever. It's basically the entire NFW story on one DVD. It will feature highlight packages for all the stars - The Little Guy, El Monstro, Kyle No Good, Matt Defiance, and The Jehovah Supernova - as well as a of the best bumps, lost footage, countless montages of wrestling and non-wrestling moments, interviews with NFW stars, and more. It's the definite look back on NFW and the good times
February 2, 2006:
No Future Wrestling has made it to CNN! Click here
to watch. Next stop Veronica Mars!
January 22, 2006:
New NFW t-shirts! Finally on black! New printing process! Death to Videodrome! Click here
to buy, suckas.
November 28, 2005:
Wanna see the complete video of NFW on public access television, the opening credit hightlight reel from Hail To The King, and Bobby Suave: A Life in Pictures? Click here
September 20, 2005: Paging Mad Matt Mayhem. Come to the nearest courtesy phone. You still alive, Fat Matt? Email us. We're this close to doing one last thing. Maybe not a match, but we have tables and bardwire in my garage just waiting to be used.
September 7, 2005:
New DVD is coming soon! A 2 disc Crapterion Collection release of Cookies And Hate Crime (viddy the trailer above) and our first deathmatch tourney. That's right, lameoids, 2 DVDs for the price of one. And, as always, for an extra 5 bucks, Suave will autograph it then puke on it for you. Save your money. And we finally got punk rock buttons! America...Fuck yeah! 3 styles to choose from. Click here
to buy 'em, fuckers! New t-shirts and hoodies as well. Buy or fry. Littleton says go see March of the Penguins.
July 24, 2005:
We turn up in interesting places. Click here
March 14, 2005:
Be our friend! Click here
. Please. We might have another match. Pray.
January 29, 2005: This receipt
may not mean too much to you, but it has a special place in our heart as it is from the night Bobby Suave almost killed himself and The Little Guy when he drove his truck off a rocky cliff and it rolled 35 times and exploded into a million pieces and then landed on a scorpion farm on a night when the scorpions were extra mad (their scorpion wives weren't giving them no scorpion buttsex). Bobby Suave lost his right arm in the accident and the ability to hear the letter F and The Little Guy now can't stand up straight after he gets plastered at parties. Notice the $3.00 tip...that's 40%!
January 11, 2005: This is perhaps the greatest video game controller ever. It's for Resident Evil 4. Click it to buy.
October 5, 2004:
It's that time again. No, not time for Suave to get another DUI...It's voting season! Register
and vote for the man NFW officially backs - Johnny Depp!
Sure, he's not running, he's not even living in this country, and he wants to buy his kid drugs, but outside from The Ninth Gate, he's never done us wrong in movies, so that's enough to get our vote. His record speaks for itself - Nightmare on Elm Street, Pirates of the Caribbean, Edward Scissorhands, Blow, Ed Wood, Donnie Brasco, Cry Baby, and yes, even 21 Jump Street (that shit was cool in the 80s and you know it.). Kerry and Bush don't have a record like that. Kerry looks like the talking tree from Lord of the Rings and Bush did coke (which isn't really a bad thing...not becoming a cokehead is, though). So, come November 2nd, vote no future, vote Depp. Oh, an new stuff in the NFW Merch Shack. Buy or die!
August 29, 2004:
The Essential NFW DVD is now finished so buy or die. It's only $10, not $70 like we originally planned (thank you cheap Cambodian child labor!). It's on DVD+R for now and plays in basically every DVD player and our Playstation 2 with no problem so you should have no trouble watching it. Click here to buy!
Also, click the image of The Jehova Supernova on the right to vote him hot or not. He needs a self esteem boost.
March 21, 2004: The Little Guy gives Dawn of the Dead a D+ (the Johnny Cash opening credit sequence was the only good part), Bobby Suave gave it an F- (and proudly screamed "Dawn of the Dead sucked!" over and over again as he walked out of the theater), and No Good must have watched the wrong movie because he liked it.
February 3, 2004: It appears El Monstro has fallen into a 20 feet deep snake pit in the Pacific Northwest and we're all scared of snakes (especially the ones that spit shark piss at you) so we're just gonna leave him there. So what that means is he's probably retired from NFW save a couple of cameos on our network specials. He will be missed (only by Baker's because he single-handedly kept them in business).
December 28, 2003:
NFW was back in action today, this time with a cameraman from France's Canal +
on hand to document the shenanigans for an upcoming documentary. Today was BLT 2. That's right, the ladders were cleaned up, the tables were brought out of storage, and the dreaded raw bacon was back to give our wrestlers worms. The match saw The Unknown Soldier, Matt Defiance, and The Jehovah Supernova duke it out for over 20 minutes. The Jehovah Supernova was put out of action early when Frederiksen and Defiance touble teamed his knee. But after asking Jehovah for a little favor, he made his triumphant return setting up The Unknown Soldier on a table for Defiance to eliminate him. The match worked its way to the frontyard and more damage was done to the Grumpymobile than to the wrestlers! A smashed window, dented doors, and a caved-in roof helped put the Grumpymobile out of its misery. Oh, Bobby Suave won making it two BLT wins in a row.
November 25, 2003:
NFW's got fresh pictures from Bobby Suave paying the penality for losing The Fast And The Bi-Curious. They're gross. Beware. If you hate all things gay or Mexican, don't look. Check them out here
November 15, 2003: Mad Matt Mayhem made his NFW debut and despite breaking all his bones, getting an NFW record 14 concussions, and giving birth to a healthy baby boy during the match, was able to upset the heavily favored Kyle No Good in Theatre of the Absurd Final Act. These No Future Soldiers, in NFW's first match since Hail To The King and the deadly So Cal fires, battled through rain, mud, and security light outages to put a fitting end to NFW storied Theatre Of The Absurd trilogy.
June 16, 2003:
Look at that new NFW Official Merch Shack
graphic on the left of the screen. Click on it and buy something. Please. Pretty please. It's not too expensive and you may even talk to a girl if you wear an NFW t-shirt.
April 1, 2003:
Hail To The King is now available! Click here
to order! It's easily our best tape to date. We're really proud of it. Well, maybe not really
proud of it. I mean, can anyone really be proud of making a video where you tape your friends cutting their heads open? Man, we are so lame. Anyway, buy it. Oh, and checkout how you can get a free NFW video!
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