NFW Championship
1. The Grumpy Skull defeated El Monstro in the finals of The Viscously Violent No Future Wrestling King Of The Deathmatch Tournament of Menacing Malicious Mayhem.
2. The Little Guy defeated The Grumpy Skull in Great American Bashtime.
3. El Monstro defeated The Little Guy in The Brawl For It All Behind The Shopping Mall II.
4. Matt Defiance defeated El Monstro at Midnight Bleacher Feature.
5. The Jehovah Supernova defeated Matt Defiance at Battle For The Planet Of The Ape Drapes.
6. The Beast From The Far East defeated The Jehovah Supernova at Friday The 13th: The Devil's Dozen 2.
7. The Grumpy Skull defeated The Beast From The Far East at Untitled Gauntlet Match.
8. El Monstro defeated The Grumpy Skull in the second round of Hail To The King.
9. The Little Guy defeated El Monstro in the finals of Hail To The King.

NFW Deathmatch Championship
1. The Little Guy defeated El Monstro in the finals of Hail To The King.

Rouse In The House 2000
The Little Guy defeats The Grumpy Skull

The Brawl For It All Behind The Shopping Mall
The Grumpy Skull defeats The Little Guy

Friday The 13th: The Devil's Dozen
The Grumpy Skull defeats The Little Guy and El Monstro

Theatre Of The Absurd
The Grumpy Skull defeats El Monstro

The Viciously Violent No Future Wrestling King Of The Deathmatch Tournament of Menacing Malicious Mayhem
Round 1
The Grumpy Skull defeats The Beast
El Monstro defeats The Little Guy
The Grumpy Skull defeats El Monstro. The Grumpy Skull is NFW champion.

Great American Bashtime
The Little Guy defeats The Beast and NFW champion The Grumpy Skull. The Little Guy is NFW champion.

Brawl For It All Behind The Shopping Mall II
El Monstro defeats NFW champion The Little Guy. El Monstro is NFW champion.

Rumble In The Jungle Gym
The Jehovah Supernova defeats Matt Defiance

Midnight Bleacher Feature
Matt Defiance defeats The Grumpy Skull and NFW champion El Monstro. Matt Defiance is NFW champion.

Parking Lot Pandemonium
The Jehovah Supernova defeats The Grumpy Skull

Rouse In The House 2001: A Space Odyssey
The Little Guy Defeats The Grumpy Skull

6 Foot Ladder To Pergatory
NFW champion Matt Defiance defeats The Grumpy Skull

BLT: Bacon, Ladders, And Tables
The Jehovah Supernova defeats El Monstro and The Little Guy.

Battle For The Planet Of The Ape Drapes
The Jehovah Supernova defeats NFW champion Matt Defiance. The Jehovah Supernova is NFW champion.

Friday The 13th: The Devil's Dozen 2
The Beast defeats NFW champion The Jehovah Supernova and The Grumpy Skull. The Beast is NFW champion.

Theatre Of The Absurd Act II
The Jehovah Supernova defeats The Goonie

The Brawl For It All Behind The Shopping Mall Strikes Back!
The Jehovah's Witness Protection Agency defeats The Defiance Alliance

NFW Humilation: The Homo Erotic Pummeling
The Little Guy defeats Matt Defiance

School Of Hard Knocks
The Grumpy Skull defeats The Goonie

Revenge Of Midnight Bleacher Feature
The Jehovah Supernova defeats The Little Guy and The Goonie

Boston Burrito Party
Matt Defiance defeats El Monstro and The Little Guy

The First Annual Kurt Warner Invitational Handicap Match
The Jehovah's Witness Protection Agency defeats The Grumy Skull

Heck In The Cell
Matt Defiance defeats The Unknown Soldier

Clash Of The Not-So Super Powers
NFW champion The Beast defeats The Jehovah Supernova. The Beast is still NFW champion.

The Grumpy Skull defeats El Monstro

The Grumpy Skull defeats The Little Guy, Matt Defiance, The Unknown Soldier, The Goonie, The Jehovah Supernova, and NFW champion The Beast. The Grumpy Skull is NFW champion.

150th NFW Olympiad
The Beast defeats The Little Guy

NFW Humiliation: The Fast And The Bi-Curious
Matt Defiance defeats The Jehovah Supernova

Hail To The King
Round 1
The Little Guy defeats The Unknown Soldier
NFW champion The Grumpy Skull defeats The Jehovah Supernova
El Monstro defeats Matt Defiance
The Goonie defeats The Beast
Round 2
The Little Guy defeats The Goonie
El Mosntro defeats NFW champion The Grumpy Skull. El Monstro is NFW champion.
The Little Guy defeats NFW champion El Monstro. The Little Guy is NFW and Deathmatch champion.

Theatre of the Absurd: Final Act
Mad Matt Mayhem defeats The Grumpy Skull.

BLT 2: Bacon, Ladders, And Tables
The Jehovah Supernova defeats The Unknown Soldier and Matt Defiance with documentary crew from France's Canal+ in attendance.


Rouse In The House 2000
The first ever match in NFW history pitted The Grumpy Skull against The Little Guy inside someone's actual house! The only way to win the match was to throw your opponent out of the house and lock the door behind him. The match went back and forth at first, each wrestler testing the other. Then in a surprising move the Little Guy began to dominate the match smashing The Grumpy Skull's head with a beer can and then into the kitchen floor with a bulldog. It looked like The Grumpy Skull was mounting an offense as he delivered a forearm shot off of the stairs into The Little Guy. The action then took a dangerous turn as both competitors took the fight outside of the house. The Grumpy Skull was repeatedly slammed into a parked car and then given a spine throttling chokeslam onto the hood. The Grumpy Skull reversed The Little Guy and began to smash his little head into a mailbox. The little guy fought off The Grumpy Skull and seemed to have walked off leaving The Grumpy Skull Kyle No Good muttering profanities. The Little Guy then came back into view...with a fucking light bulb tube! The Grumpy Skull missed the clothesline and The Little Guy smashed the light bulb over The Grumpy Skull, lacerating the back of his arm and sending him staggering up the driveway. Eager to inflict more pain, The Little Guy dragged Kyle No Good back into the house. No Good was covered in blood at this point, obviously out of it from the vicious light bulb shot. There were more surprises in store as The Little Guy was the victim of a series of snap suplexes after taking too much time to set up a board between the coffee table and the couch. Kyle No Good then pulled out a Del Taco bag full of thumbtacks! He attempted to powerbomb The Little Guy onto the board but just couldn't lift the little fucker off the ground. Instead he delivered a brutal belly to back suplex onto the board covered with thumbtacks. The action was then carried back into the kitchen which saw The Little Guy whipping The Grumpy Skull into the counter and then shoving him face first into the oven that was turned on!! The Little Guy then executed the Sharp Shooter on Kyle No Good who was still in the oven! After a few more exchanges of brutality, The Little Guy threw Kyle No Good out of the house, but he held on to the doorway. Several punches and a superkick later, The Little Guy locked The Grumpy Skull Kyle No Good out of the house and won the first ever Rouse In The House.
Announcer quote of the match:
"Look at his fuckin' arm!"

The Brawl For It All Behind The Shopping Mall
In a match that personifies guerrilla wrestling and illegality, The Grumpy Skull Kyle No Good took on The Little Guy Kris Littleton in this NFW first! No fancy ring just concrete, stolen forklift pallets and down and dirty trash. And you wonder why its called No Future. The match started with The Bureaucrat as special guest referee. No Good came out hard pummeling The Little Guy who reversed the offensive with a leg drop smashing The Grumpy Skull's face into the concrete. It looked like The Little Guy was going to repeat his Rouse in the House success until No Good mounted a comeback. After hitting a drop toe hold onto a steel chair that rocked The Little Guy's jaw, No Good went for the cover. As the ref was about to count the three...he didn't!! The Bureaucrat double crossed The Grumpy Skull and along with The Little Guy began stomping the sense out of The Grumpy Skull. Then The Little Guy went to what he knows best...pure pain! Bringing out the same type of florescent light bulbs he used to hideously scar The Grumpy Skull at Rouse In The House, Kris Littleton smashed two of them over the back of No Good. The Little Guy hit his modified pebble bottom (a littler version of the rock bottom) on a stunned Kyle No Good. Just as it looked like The Little Guy would be undefeated, the Beast from the Far East came flying to No Good's rescue! He began to pound both The Bureaucrat and The Little Guy. While The Little Guy set up a light bulb covered board between two battle damaged shopping carts, The Beast and The Grumpy Skull hit a double backdrop on the Bureaucrat, landing him on his neck!! Kris Littleton attacked the distracted Grumpy Skull, driving him face first into the wooden pallets with a DDT. The Little Guy then perched himself on top of the steel chair looking to end the matchup, but The Grumpy Skull recovered delivering a stiff kick to the sternum of The Little Guy then chokeslammed him through the light bulb covered board!! The Beast From the Far East counted the pin and Kyle No Good got a taste of revenge.
Announcer quote of the match:
"These men have no futures! Inferior DNA!"

Friday The 13th: The Devil's Dozen
This triple threat elimination match saw The Little Guy Kris Littleton against The Grumpy Skull Kyle No Good against El Monstro in his NFW debut! This is one of the rare matches that NFW wrestled in an actual backyard as opposed to an illegal location! The action started off fast and mildly furious as The Little Guy and The Grumpy Skull double teamed the much much (much) bigger El Monstro. The tide quickly turned as The Grumpy Skull became the victim of double team tactics: being driven head first into the ground with a double DDT. El Monstro exhibited his drunken strength as he held The Little Guy up while The Grumpy Skull repeatedly drop kicked him, and then squashed The Little Guy on the makeshift ring. The action picked up as The Grumpy Skull came out of nowhere with a Kendo stick. He proceeded to crack skulls and rock jaws harder then after hours at a strip club! With El Monstro brought to his knees, The Little Guy and The Grumpy Skull displayed a rare moment of team work with The Grumpy Skull hitting a spinning heel kick to the back of El Monstro's head while The Little Guy simultaneously flattened Monstro's nose with a jumping knee lift. This team lasted all of about the 3 seconds it took to perform that move, as The Grumpy Skull slammed The Little Guy's head into the toilet that for some reason was in the backyard, resulting in a bloody and battered Little Guy. The violence factor rose as all 3 wrestlers brandished light bulbs and proceeded to see who could give the others the first case of fluorescent poisoning! It wasn't long before the bag of tricks came out. No not the bag of the Bobby Suave's mom...the bag of thumbtacks! The Grumpy Skull laid into The Little Guy with some hard right hands but as he was going for the coup de grace, The Little Guy delivered a back body drop, launching The Grumpy Skull onto the thumbtacks. Monstro, taking advantage of the situation, proceeded to grind The Grumpy Skull's face into the tacks! Hey he's ugly folks but The Grumpy Skull ain't getting much uglier! Meanwhile, The Little Guy ascended the childrens swing set that was in the backyard. Dedicating his maneuver to the great Slim Jim fueled madman: the Randy Savage, The Little Guy leapt, executing his finishing move: the Hellbow! The Grumpy Skull was out but El Monstro broke up the three count and proceeded to pound the other two. After taking out Monstro's legs, The Grumpy Skull pulled off a belly to belly suplex and pinned Littleton. El Monstro gave him no time to recover and delivered the devastating Monster Bomb, crushing The Grumpy Skull into a pile of broken meanness. Your victor, in his debut match...El Monstro!
Announcer quote of the match:
"Oh, he's knocking and he's got a flaming bag of dog doo!"

Theatre Of The Absurd
Taking place in an outdoor theatre in an undisclosed location, Kyle No Good The Grumpy Skull took on El Monstro in this very illegal, guerrilla-style match. No mats in this one, just a solid wood stage, rock hard seats, and the cold, unforgiving concrete! The Grumpy Skull came out hard but after reversing El Monstro's attempts to hit the Monster Bomb early, took several power moves onto the solid wood stage. El Monstro was mopping the floor with the much meaner, much smaller Grumpy Skull. No Good struggled to maintain consciousness after having his head repeatedly slammed into the front rows of the capacity crowd. Monstro fell victim to a series of brutal shots from a Kendo stick served up by Kyle No Good. Monstro continued to dominate even after a sloppy hurricanrana and tornado DDT executed by the Grumpy Skull. Monstro could not be put away as Kyle No Good was powered into the Monster Bomb...and driven onto the wooden stage in an absurd interpretation of the duel between Hamlet and Larataes! As if that wasn't enough, Monstro pulled No Good up before the three count and inflicted more damage with a side walk slam and Kendo stick shots to the spine. Monstro got the three count but still wanted to punish the Grumpy Skull, delivering a Malenko-style gut buster and an awkward choke slam that left The Grumpy Skull in a broken heap, and saw El Monstro heading for Del Taco and his victory burrito.
Announcer quote of the match:
"The heaviest thing he's ever lifted is a Del Beef Burrito."

Great American Bashtime
The belt was up for grabs in this brutal battle royal taking place on an actual baseball field! The premise: eliminate your opponents by slamming them onto any of the four bases. Competing in this wrestling first was The Beast from the Far East, The Little Guy Kris Littleton, and NFW champ The Grumpy Skull Kyle No Good. The Little Guy was savagely beaten as No Good and The Beast double teamed him from the start. The Beast punished the Little Guy's spine with pirated computer equipment as the Grumpy Skull executed a textbook snap suplex on The Little Guy. The violence continued into left field as Kris Littleton barely survived a devastating spine buster dished out by Kyle No Good. The alliance was broken as The Beast took it to The Grumpy Skull with a series of brutal shots to the back and gut, finishing the sentence with an exclamation point of a German suplex that dropped The Grumpy Skull neck first onto steel and chain link fencing! The best certainly came to get the belt today. The Little Guy tried to mount a comeback but was the victim of a double team gut buster, leaving The Little Guy puking up his Spaghetti-Os. Grabbing the tee-ball stand he had brought (thinking that they were actually going to play tee-ball), The Little Guy battered both of his opponents. The Beast was soon eliminated by a violent fisherman's suplex onto third base delivered by The Grumpy Skull Kyle No Good. Now it was down to The Grumpy Skull and weary Little Guy. Kris Littleton struck first, rattling The Grumpy Skull's grumpy skull with a stolen computer keyboard. He then proceeded to run the bases. The fight continued off the field leading up to The Grumpy Skull crushing the sternum of The Little Guy with a leg drop off of some bleachers. It looked like No Good would retain his title. As he went to finish off the Little Guy with a home plate slam, Kyle No Good was reversed and driven head first into home plate with a reverse DDT. The Little Guy Kris Littleton had won Great American Bashtime and was crowned the new NFW champion!
Announcer quote of the match:
"No Popeye's chicken for The Grumpy Skull tonight!"
"Recharging himself, it must be the Earth's yellow sun, I tell ya, this bitch is like Superman."

Grudgement Day I
The Jehovah Supernova Bobbie Suave was looking for payback after being knocked out of the NFW championship tournament before it started by The Grumpy Skull Kyle No Good, in this kick boxing match. The current NFW champ The Little Guy Kris Littleton refereed this one and folks, these results won't take long. The Grumpy Skull pounded The Jehovah Supernova, busting open his lips while only utilizing the kick 2 times in the first round. The second round was no different. No Good clobbered the Jehovah Supernova, then clobbered some more and when he was done clobberin', her clobbered some more getting the TKO after only two rounds. A fight truly in the tradition of Butterbean vs. Bart Gunn.
Announcer quote of the match:
Announcer: "Who do you think is gonna to win this one ref?
Little Guy: "The Grumpy Skull's beating the shit out of him." Announcer: "Oh! Even a blind person could see that!"

Grudgement Day II
Once again NFW took to the gloves in our patented Grudment Day bouts! This installment of the series was another guerrilla style slugfest, pitting The Little Guy Kris Littleton against The Jehovah Supernova Bobby Suave! Much like in little league when the tie goes to the runner, in NFW the tie goes to The Little Guy! If Bobby Suave failed to gain a decisive knockout and Littleton went all the rounds, then The Little Guy would be declared the winner. I'll save you the ulcer you'd get from worrying over this one folks and say this: Littleton lasted, he did it! But he took a heavy and unrelenting pounding at the hands of the J-Dub with much love, Bobby Suave. The Little Guy, the man who lives his gimmick, came away the winner in Grudgement Day II!

Grudgement Day III
This fist to fist bout ushered in Matt Defiance to the Grudgement Day spotlight as he took on The Grumpy Skull. Matt had his work cut out for him as no one had ever lasted more than 3 rounds with The Grumpy Skull Kyle No Good. And guess what?...He didn't either! Matt Defiance took a viscous pummeling until the match was stopped by the referee. Kyle No Good's Grudgement Day streak was still going strong and Matt Defiance was left whining about the 14 concussions he had just received.

Grudgement Day IV
NFW took to the time honored empty lot to engage in this Grudgement Day spectacle that featured the clash of two rivals: The Jehovah Supernova Bobby Suave and The Beast From The Far East Todd Tamagotchi! My money was on The Beast but let me just say I picked the wrong one legged man to bet on in this ass kicking contest! Bobby Suave did his J-Dubs proud with a pitiless pounding on the rice-fueled machine. Todd Tamagotchi got a few good shots in, including a Viet Cong sucker punch, but The Jehovah Supernova has too many skills that could pay the bills. The Jehovah Supernova walked away the winner of this one after getting the unanimous decision!

Grudgement Day V
The Little Guy Kris Littleton and Matt Defiance joined forces in this one to take on El Monstro...simultaneously! That's right, El Monstro boxed them both at the same time! The match started off slow as Kris Littleton kept running away allowing Matt Defiance to take the majority of the Baker's Drive Thru-fueled pounding that El Monstro was serving up. Oh wait...that was the entire match! The little Guy ran and Matt Defiance put his gloves over his head and took punch after punch. El Monstro got the decision as he couldn't finish off the elusive Little Guy or the rumbling retard Matt Defiance.

Grudgement Day VI
This Grudgement Day rematch saw The Grumpy Skull Kyle No Good once again lock horns with The Jehovah Supernova Bobby Suave! to explain this one accurately... Okay, remember the movie Robocop? Well remember the part towards the end when the guy gets all that toxic waste poured on him and he's all disgusting, slimey, and stumbling around? And remember how that armored van hits him and the guy just explodes in a mush of body parts and greasy goo? Well in Grudgement Day VI, The Grumpy Skull was the armored van and The Jehovah Supernova was the gooy, toxic waste guy. Only the Grumpy Skull managed to get the job done in only two rounds. Still undefeated in Grudgement Day matches, The Grumpy Skull walked away the winner.

The Brawl For It All Behind The Shopping Mall II
This match saw the newly crowned longshot NFW champion, The Little Guy, defending the most prestigious vinyl in all of the Inland Empire against the marauding El Monstro! This match was completely illegal...just as NFW likes it, with The Grumpy Skull Kyle No Good performing the duties of special guest referee. The Little Guy stepped to El Monstro, striking a Ken Shamrock "knuckle up" pose and El Monstro promptly proceeded to kick the shit out of Littleton. The Little Guy was being pummeled, slammed, and worst of all, his Pokeball from his Burger King Big Kids got broken! El Monstro pancaked The Little Guy between his violent mass and the concrete ground and made the cover. The Grumpy Skull looked like he came to screw with the wrestlers and not be a fair referee as he circled the pinfall numerous times before even starting the count, clearly costing El Monstro an early win. The little Guy seemed to make a come back delivering an almost flinching shot to the head of El Monstro with the Pokeball, an executing the dangerous Hellbow off of the loading dock railing. El Monstro could not be kept down, even after The Little Guy smashed his melon like head with disgustingly brutal Kendo stick shots. El Monster performed a sidewalk slam went then for the three count, but The Grumpy Skull "sneezed" causing him to miss the count. El Monstro was not a happy fast food fueled sociopath! He retaliated the questionable officiating with a stiff punch to the head of The Grumpy Skull which gave The Little Guy the opportunity to work on El Monstro. The referee regained his bearings, and went after El Monstro! The Grumpy Skull locked El Monstro into the tarantula, one of the most beautiful submission holds to date, and The Little Guy proceeded to smash a light bulb tube over the exposed rib cage and gullet of El monstro. The Grumpy Skull stepped off, allowing El Monstro to recover and Monster Bomb Kris Littleton through some boards set up across the rails of the loading dock. The Grumpy Skull finally remembered how to count to three and El Monstro became the new NFW champion! Afterwards, as The Grumpy Skull handed El Monstro the belt, El Monstro extracted some much deserved vengeance, and Monster Bombed Kyle No Good off of the loading dock and onto some shopping carts! A verified 9 foot drop onto unforgiving steel and concrete. El Monstro headed off to some victory meal(s) at Baker's Drive Thru.
Announcer quote of the match:
"El Monstro's upset tonight because he just learned he has been cut from PopStars!"

Rumble In The Jungle Gym
Broad daylight. Upper-class neighborhood in the picturesque East Highland Ranch of Highland, California, 92346. A "public" park. The Jehovah Supernova. Matt Defiance. NFW guerrilla style at its most mediocre. This simple string of single sentences should get those cogs turning inside your sick imaginations! The stipulation: whoever can drag his opponent to the top of the jungle gym and toss him down the slide walks off with the victory and the least serious concussion. The Jehovah Supernova and Matt Defiance took it to each other in their debut matches, with The Jehovah Supernova demonstrating his raw, gospel-fueled power by repeatedly piledriving Matt Defiance, powerbombing Matt Defiance, and dead lifting Matt Defiance and stretching him in the legendary human torture rack! Matt Defiance exhibited his mad, insane wrestling style afflicting several innovative maneuvers, such as sliding across a park bench and driving both knees into the ribcage of The Supernova. This match was back and forth with both competitors exchanging more blows to the head then an egalitarian gay porno movie! But in the end, The Jehovah Supernova Bobby Suave threw Matt Defiance's beaten corpse down the slide like a piece of Orthodox Catholic scripture! Chalk up one win for The Jehovah Supernova and the other J-Dubs!
Announcer quote of the match:
"Oh, Jehovah may have his back, but Matt Defiance is handing him his ass!"

Midnight Bleacher Feature 2001
The premise of this wrestling first is simple: the belt is at the top of some bleachers. If you can get up there and get the belt before your opponents, you win the match and the most coveted piece of vinyl since a Cheap Trick album. In his first title defense, El Monstro took on violent debutante Matt Defiance, and the felonious one-time champ The Grumpy Skull Kyle No Good. This match saw it all, with Monstro obviously dominating the beginning with his massive. uh...mass! Matt Defiance and The Grumpy Skull were repeatedly tossed about as if they were Baker's Budget Meal burritos not up to El Monstro's standards! The tables quickly turned as Defiance and No Good put off keeping each other from the belt to double team El Monstro. Defiance delivered a guillotine leg drops as well as a modified rolling senton. The violence factor was easily upped by one, if not almost as much as two, when No Good brought out the light bulb tubes and proceeded to smash them over both Defiance's back and El Monstro's head! El Monstro delayed snatching up his prized belt and paid the price, in currency worth much more than the peso: his own blood! Defiance and No Good inflicted head shot after head shot with a steel chair and a stop sign, which succeed in busting the forehead of Monstro wide open! Folks, El Monstro is not a pretty man, and with his sick grinning visage covered in blood that goes double! With Monstro recovering, No Good pulled Defiance's head through the set up steel chair and delivered a true guillotine leg drop from a few steps up! Monstro came back and was pissed! While he battered No Good, Defiance, unseen, snagged the belt, giving him a victory and a title! Monstro was not pleased and welcomed Matt Defiance into the fraternal order of those who make El Monstro angry...with a thunderous Monster bomb on to the solid bleachers! No Good, who really doesn't have a minute where he's not pissed about something, delivered his patented Trouble Maker to a bloody and dazed Monstro. The new NFW champ, Defiance, lay in a broken heap.
Announcer quote of the match:
"Can you believe they actually buy these light bulbs and break them?"

Parking Lot Pandemonium
A sloppy, brawling match marking NFW's accent to public access glory! The Jehovah Supernova took on The Grumpy Skull in this match filmed illegally in a parking structure in beautiful downtown San Bernardino! The match was fast and furious, with damage being caused to multiple cars (whose owners were not left a note! Now that's extreme!), trash cans, elevator doors, and the human body. No Good looked like he had this one wrapped up as they fought to the top deck of the structure. The wrestlers made their way to a truck that suspiciously had thumbtacks in the bed. Bobby Suave took the tacks and poured them in the truck bed on some conveniently placed cardboard. Fighting on top of the truck, The Jehovah Supernova was able to push No Good off on to the tacks! Suave made his way down to inflict more damage, but No good countered and the two went back up to the top of the truck. The Jehovah Supernova however scored the victory with a Death Valley driver off the truck into the tacks, pinning No Good for the public access victory!
Announcer quote of the match:
"We dont even know whose cars these are!"
"Looks like whoever owns this car is gonna need a new everything."

Rouse In The House 2001: A Space Odyssey
This match saw a return clash between some true black and blue No Future Soldiers! The Little Guy locked it up with The Grumpy Skull! This match started off fast, with Littleton being jumped by No Good as he watched the gospel being praised by M.C. Hammer himself on television. It looked like The Little Guy was going to have to start searching for a residence with a wheel chair access, when he reversed The Grumpy Skull's onslaught, delivering a Russian leg sweep on to a trash can and taking the fight outside. The Little Guy touted his own complexion before smashing a mirror over the head of The Grumpy Skull. The match was carried back to the house's interior, and The Grumpy Skull was whipped into the bathroom and into the tub...where none other than Matt Defiance was sitting on the porcelain throne! Matt Defiance, riled up that his contemplation had been interrupted, proceeded to aid The Little Guy in the thumping of The Grumpy Skull's skull, utilizing steel chairs to render No Good dazed and well...grumpy. The match continued and saw The Little Guy put The Grumpy Skull through a table before giving him the bum rush out the door, leaving No Good in a battered heap and making The Little Guy the only undefeated No Future Soldier in NFW history.

6 Foot Ladder To Purgatory
Hung above the makeshift NFW ring (consisting of stolen grocery store pallets, stolen cardboard, and rusty nails), was a spiral of barb wire, just taunting the competitors of this match up: The Grumpy Skull and Matt Defiance. This match went back and forth, and saw The Grumpy Skull hit a beautiful vertical suplex on Defiance, and Defiance bust The Grumpy Skull open with a DDTinto a medicine cabinet mirror! The Grumpy Skull's back was subjected to the sick violence of Matt Defiance once he had grabbed the barb wire and raked it across the back of The Grumpy Skull! The Grumpy Skull mounted a comeback, but alas, had his own scheme turn against him as he was shoved off of a ladder and onto the other ladders he had so meticulously set up. Matt defiance crawled away the winner of this one.

BLT: Bacon, Ladders, & Tables
This NFW (and wrestling) first saw El Monstro vs. The Little Guy vs. The Jehovah Supernova in a match featuring bacon, ladders, and tables! Nothing too impressive in this match except the uncalled for interference of the San Bernardino County Sheriff! When the match picked back up it saw El Monstro spike The Jehovah Supernova with a neck jarring piledriver! The Little Guy was the first to be eliminated, as El monstro monster bombed him through a flaming table...and HE CAUGHT ON FIRE! An NFW crew member assisted in quickly extinguishing him as the match continued. El Monstro pounded on The Jehovah Supernova, until he was reversed laid out on a table, and The Jehovah Supernova looked in his book of praises and gospel, applied them to the situation, and determined that WWJD (What Would Jehovah Do?)?, He'd dive off the roof and put El Monstro through the table and win the God damn match!

Battle For The Planet Of The Ape Drapes
The final match of this mini-tournament witnessed The Jehovah Supernova take on defending NFW champ Matt Defiance in an "I Quit" match. This match was back and forth with Matt Defiance innovating and bludgeoning Jehovah's favorite witness. The raw gospel-fueled power of The Jehovah Supernova could not be denied as he repeatedly dropped Matt Defiance on his neck and head! As both competitors fought, El Monstro ran in spearing The Jehovah Supernova out of his jock and slamming Matt Defiance to the ground! It looked bad, and began to look even badder as The Little Guy and The Grumpy Skull snuck in, stalking the beaten No Future Soldiers and simultaneously delivering a head flattening DDT and fisherman's buster before leaping off a ladder onto the wrestlers that were actually supposed to be in the match! The Jehovah Supernova was the first to come to and he slapped Matt Defiance into the famed STF! That foul-mouthed pussy Matt Defiance was only too happy to tap out, marking a change in the NFW title and the first ever submission win in NFW! The winner and new NFW champion, The Jehovah Supernova!

Friday The 13th: The Devil's Dozen 2
In this traditional 3-way elimination matchup, we saw The Grumpy Skull Kyle No Good and The Beast From The Far East try and wrench away the coveted NFW vinyl from the head honcho of horrific holy pounding...The Jehovah Supernova! This match started off almost in an instan win for The Jehovah Supernova as he hit one Watchtower Of Power on No Good and another on The Beast! Both men managed to kick out though, bringing into question the actual amount of respect that maneuver deserves. Things picked up as all 3 men took it to each other. The double teams went back and forth culminating in No Good being locked in a bow and arrow hold by The Beast while Bobby Suave asaulted him with a kendo stick wrapped in barbed wire!! The Grumpy one was down but not out as he and Tamagotchi delivered a spiked piledriver to Jehovah's favorite little soldier on to a VCR!(no doubt brought in by The Beast...damn bootlegging Asians!). Soon enough the thumb tacks were brought out and Kyle No Good was re-introduced to puncture wounds. Then The Beast took to the air "Drooling Tiger, Sleeping Dragon" style and splashed both his rivals from off the roof! All 3 men were groggy and as Bobby Suave came to, he was greeted with the Troublemaker courtesy of Kyle No Good! But as he stumbled around, The Beast locked on and dropped him with his Sake Bomb reverse DDT for the pin and the first elimination! A sunset flip, more thumb tacks and a single leg crab later, The Beast From The Far East hooked and planted No Good with a butterfly hook power bomb for the win and the Baker's Budget Meal of title belts...the NFW vinyl!

Theatre Of The Absurd Act II
This match filmed in exclusive No Future Vision saw the debut of the masked menace known as The Goonie, who took on the religious powerhouse aptly dubbed The Jehovah Supernova. This match was quick and brutal as the NFW guerrilla theatre is nothing but solid wood and concrete. Light bulbs were brought into play as both men smashed each other at the same time. The fight continued with The Goonie locking on the Pinchers Of Power. A suplex on to the solid ground was not enough to keep Jehovah's favorite little soldier down as the Bobby Suave got up, dusted himself off, and hit the Watchtower Of Power onto a steel chair to come away with another v for the J-Dubs.

Brawl For It All Behind The Shopping Mall Strikes Back!
An NFW first, an actual tag team match! This match also saw the debut of the most devastating duo in NFW: The Jehovah's Witness Protection Agency (think about it for a second and laugh)! Formed by The Jehovah Supernova Bobby Suave and his convert El Monstro, the JWPA took on The Grumpy Skull Kyle No Good and Matt Defiance...AKA The Defiance Alliance! This was a brutal match with both teams introducing each other to the hard concrete of the guerrilla style match behind a shopping center (this is the third time we've done this, where are all the cops in the Inland Empire?). Defiance and No Good worked well together and the match went back and forth. A stop sign, steel chair, a shopping cart, and a flaming chair all made their way into this matchup of maliciousness. The match went on, culminating in some body shattering hard bumps. Then Suave hit the Watchtower Of Power taking out Defiance while the hungry one, El Monstro dragged No Good to the top of an electrical box and shoved him off...onto a shopping cart and trash! The result was a win for the JWPA and a trip to the emergency room for No Good. NFW's first tag match was in the record books for another reason: the first broken bone.

NFW Humiliation: Homo Erotic Pummeling
Once again, the innovators of unneccesary violence, NFW, raised the bar to new levels in this matchup! The Little Guy Kris Littleton took on Matt Defiance in this special stipulation match! The loser would have to go to a public shopping mall, wearing very homo erotic clothing (hot pink running shorts, tank top, and a black leather fanny pack) amd be filmed! Both men came out ready to ream and cream each other. After a multitude of DDT's and a vicous series of leg drops from Littleton, Defiance mounted a comeback by kicking Littleton's ass...literally! Defiance was then the unfortunate recipient of thundering chairshots packaged, shipped, and delivered courtesy of The Little Guy! The Little Guy looked to finish off Defiance and he took to the roof to deliver the internationally illegal Hellbow! When Littleton went for the pin, a mysterious masked person with breasts ran out, clobbering him with a chair and quickly leaving again! Both men came to their feet and Littleton caught Defiance with a back body drop and a tight pinning combination to win the match up!

School Of Hard Knocks
Once again NFW took to the streets for another innovative match up that pitted The Grumpy Skull Kyle No Good against The Goonie! This match was perpetrated at an actual high school campus. The stipulation: both competitors would be slugging it out for their high school diploma! The match started off fast and viscious with a quick exchange that saw No Good getting the better of the masked Corey Feldman fanatic, The Goonie. The Goonie quickly reversed and boy did he! The Goonie drove No Good crotch first into a pole (as if he wasn't grumpy enough!), and then locked on the devastating Pinchers Of Power! Just before The Grumpy Skull's head was about to pop, he raked the eyes of The Goonie, blinding him. The match went back and forth, over solid concrete and wooden picnic benches! The tide looked like it was turning as The Goonie executed a beautiful monkey flip on The Grumpy Skull sending him bouncing onto and off of some benches. The Goonie had some boomy, er...excuse me, booby traps in store as he lit some kind of firework and placed it on The Grumpy Skull. The firework rolled off, and so did No Good, getting the sparks right in his eyes! The match continued through the cafeteria lunch area, into the bike cage where The Goonie stretched The Grumpy Skull over a bike rack with a Goonarific dragon sleeper! The fight continued on past a local nerd, and on to the top of a bench where The Grumpy Skull hooked up The Goonie and executed a fisherman's DDT that drove The Goonie right into the table headfirst and got The Grumpy One the pin and his high school diploma! But alas, The Grumpy Skull was 5 credits short and was told to report to Home Ec. on monday! No future is not just a international catch phrase folks, its a reality for us!

Boston Burrito Party
In perhaps the most grueling and athletic feat of determination and desire since Bret Hart hooked it up with Shawn Micheals in an iron man match, NFW held the Boston Burrito Party! Three competitors, five burritos a piece and 15 minutes on the clock, the first one to chew more than he could bite off would be the victor! The three modern day gladiators that risked life and limb in this match: El Monstro, Matt Defiance, and The Little Guy Kris Littleton! The match started off, each wrestler setting their own pace. The Little Guy and Matt Defiance were eating burritos from Baker's Drive Thru, while El Monstro was eating a variety of concoctions: a ketchup and mustard burrito, peanut butter and jelly burrito, butter burrito, Oreo cookie burrito, and a Smirnoff Ice burrito which was actually just a tortilla wrapped around a bottle of Smirnoff Ice! This one was anyone's game! The Little Guy whined alot and was distracted as Matt Defiance secretly placed one of his burritos in The Little Guy's pile, allowing Matt Defiance to get the win! And win he did! Matt Defiance was pummeled and hummiliated by The Little Guy who was then seized by El Monstro who proceeded to Monster Bomb The Little Guy onto Matt Defiance driving them both through the burrito table!

First Annual Kurt Warner Invitational Handicap Match
This match saw The Grumpy Skull Kyle No Good take on The Jehovah's Witness Protection Agency, El Monstro and The Jehovah Supernova, in a handicap match! The Grumpy Skull was looking for a taste of that sweet flavor of cake called revenge after recovering from the broken foot that he suffered at the hands of the JWPA. It appeared that No Good was going to have to forfeit the match as he hobbled out to the makeshift stolen pallet ring on crutches...but he was faking! That dirty lying whore! No Good proceeded to beat the JWPA with his crutches, until The Jehovah Supernova Bobby Suave whipped him into a stop sign. The match was back and forth until No Good hit a devastating (devastating being the key word here) hip throw on Bobby Suave! Then Jehovah's favorite burrito fueled sickness El Monstro came in and proceeded to dominate No Good who tried to mount an offense. El Monstro succeeded in Monster Bombing No Good twice consecutively but tagged in Bobby Suave to give him the pin, wasting valuable time and allowing No Good to kick out. It was on from then on! Kyle No Good tried to climb a brick wall and escape but El Monstro was on to him and threw him off...through the patented NFW Franken-table! Bobby Suave came in to help finish the job, but The Grumpy Skull turned the tide managing to drop The Jehovah Supernova on his neck through a stolen construction sign that had been set up. El Monstro grabbed No Good and executed a piledriver on to a medicine cabinet mirror, bloodying The Grumpy Skull. Bobby Suave came to and delivered three, that's 3 consecutive Watchtowers Of Power on No Good getting the pin and the win for the J-Dubs!

Heck In The Cell
This fast paced match saw Matt Defiance take on The Unknown Soldier Tim Frederiksen (hey i thought he was unknown?!?) in his debut match. This match went quick, with punishing blows and shots from steel chairs. The Unknown Soldier managed to hit his finisher the Tombstone Of The Unknown Soldier, but it was too sloppy to keep Defiance's scabby corpse down. Defiance hit a suplex on to a metal railing that had been stolen from The Jehovah Supernova's mom's futon after the viscious rythms of The Beast From The Far East's love making style had shaken it loose. Matt Defiance quickly set up a ladder and performed a beautiful moonsault from a couple rungs up and was able to get the pin.

Clash Of The Not-So Super Powers
Not since the Ultimate Warrior vs. Holk Hogan had a match of this magnitude been witnessed, as the No Future Soldiers with the best record and longest title reign went to to toe for the most coveted belt comprised of duct tape and a melted record. The Jehovah Supern ova challenged The Beast From The Far East for the NFW title while the other No Future Soldiers on the roster looked on. This was a fight to be sure. The Jehovah Supernova Bobby Suave took it to The Beast with a countless number of Samoan drops and modified Angle Slams (Suave calls them the Door To Door Slam), while The Beast fought hard using his pirated electronics to his advantage and avoiding the often misdirected aerial attacks of The Jehovah Supernova. The Beast however missed an easy pin fall when he "accidently" spit some sort of fluid (the NFW lab has determined it could only be a green mist or soy sauce) in the eyes of guest referee The Grumpy Skull! The Beast was able to make up for this mistake however by grabbing Bobby Suave and hitting his modified reverse DDT - the Sake Bomb for the pin the win and the first ever NFW title defense. Still champion with more tricks up his sleeve then the Vietcong's got tunnels - The Beast From The Far East Todd Tamagotchi.

This is it! The match that demonstrates beyond a shadow of a doubt that NFW has a total lack of class, morals, as well as balls of some kind of metal. This match saw The Grumpy Skull take on El Monstro in an actual honest to Jehovah cemetery! That's right, this is the match that got members of NFW unrightfully investigated by the Riverside Police department's property crimes division! This match saw these two No Future wrestling rivals go at it, using the very cemetery itself as a weapon as well as a steel chair and barbwire! El Monstro dominated early, taking it to No Good with the chair and pratically turning him into a zombie with a thunderous short arm clothesline, a vicious terror choke slam, and a Monster Bomb on to the solid ground that actual dead bodies were under being eaten by worms! The Grumpy Skull mounted a comeback, dropping leg drops, using a neck breaker and a spring board DDT off of a tombstone. The fight went all over and it looked like El Monstro would be able to squeeze the Baker's Drive Thru out of The Grumpy Skull, but No Good fought back, hit his Trouble Maker and ascended the dungeon where he leaped off, splashing a disoriented El Monstro and scoring a quick pin, a pin counted by none other than a real g-g-g-ghost! The winner, The Grumpy Skull Kyle No Good.

This NFW first saw every single No Future Soldier (except for El Monstro who was detained at the US/Mexico border) compete for the NFW title in this gauntlet match. First in was The Goonie and The Unknown Soldier. They locked up and The Goonie hit a cruel back breaker and began to dominate the match. The Unknown Soldier was placed between a road sign and The Goonie hit a flipping senton on him, smooshing his inards. The Goonie then went for a power bomb, but was reversed! THe Unknown Soldier reversed it into a hurricanranna and got the pin. Next in was The Little Guy, NFW's answer to Frodo Baggins. He came in hard, hitting a suplex on The Unknown Soldier. It looked like The Little Guy was trying to set up something on a ladder but The Unknown Soldier stopped him, getting a DDT for his trouble! The Little GUy followed up with the pin and in came The Jehovah Supernova! It went back and forth for a while until The Jehovah Supernova hit the dirt roll off a ladder and pinned The Little Guy. Then in came The Grumpy Skull, taking control with some down right mean suplexes until The Jehovah Supernova squirted up, catching The Grumpy Skull with the Door To Door Slam on a set up ladder. The Grumpy Skull however got a quick win by leg dropping a spiral of barbed wire right into The Jehovah Supernova's face! The Beast From The Far East rushed to the ring, clobbering The Grumpy Skull with a pirated "DVD" player (you know it's a VCR and I know its a VCR, but The Beast will still try to sell it to you). The Beast took over, countering a running Grumpy Skull with a beautiful power slam. The Grumpy Skull hit a surprise pile driver and then The Troublemaker to get the pin. The final wrestler of the gauntlet turned out to be...Matt Defiance. Defiance dominated until his Defiancer was reversed into a spine shaking power bomb! The Grumpy Skull then tried to bash Defiance with the "DVD" player but had it kicked back into his face, busting him wide open. It was back and forth until The Grumpy Skull hit a running trouble maker on Defiance who was perched on the rungs of the ladder. The Grumpy Skull became the new NFW champion, but could not celebrate much as the gauntlet losers rushed him, leaving him beaten and bruised like a syphillis ridden whore in the brothel of life.